Horses and Children: An Important Relationship
by Gincy Bucklin

If children are exposed to animals in a non-threatening way from a young age, they seem to have, or be able to, develop a very close, special relationship with them. I watch my granddaughter with my Dalmatian, patting, chuckling, being hit by his tail when he stands and –that’s where I step in – trying to ride him.

Perhaps that is what is special about the relationship between children and horses – that they can ride them. There is something about riding on a living creature that fixes the imagination. A relationship with a horse is also special in that it is far more of a working association than that with any other animal. A good relationship with a horse is really a working partnership. Whether it involves going on trail rides or competing at the National Horse Show, each half of the partnership is dependent on the other if the activity is to be successful. No matter how sure-footed a horse, he doesn’t know what hazards may be head, things the rider should know. No matter how finished, the equitation rider wll not be able to produce a winning trip without the skills of a knowledgeable horse.

Adults, of course, can and do have working relationships with their horses, but children have that extra ability to dream, and hope and imagine: a horse can tune in to this, and because of it, try particularly hard. I once had a horse that hated to jump. Her conformation was not suited to it, and she had a weak stifle besides. One of the children who rode with me fell in love with her and rode her in all her lessons. In between, she groomed her, bathed her, pampered her and loved her. And jumped her. The horse would jump for no one else but this girl who loved her – neither terribly high nor terribly well, but the best she could.

I have also known children who had horses for selfish reasons. They wanted the prestige and the glory of winning, and they only wanted a horse who could provide that.  The horses always knew. An animal that came into the stable to one of these owners would never improve. He might start out a winner, but without the incentive of a caring partner he would become sullen and uninterested. The child then had a choice. If she could be brought to realize that she must contribute of herself in order for the partnership to be successful, she and the horse would soon show steady improvements. If not, she would be stuck. She might sell that horse and buy a “better” one, but sooner or later she would run into the same problem. And somewhere within herself she would know that the horse was winning the ribbons by himself; that she was contributing very little to the partnership and therefore had very little value. Anyone else could get on the horse and do the same thing.

The horse human relationship is also different from most human/animal relationships because of the sheer size of the animal. This is less important to a child in the beginning than it is to an adult since practically everything is big to a child. But anyone who has worked extensively with a horse knows that, because of his size and strength, a horse won’t do something he doesn’t want to. In order to get a horse to do as you ask he must want to please you. Now up to a point, you can get a horse – or a child or an employee – to want to please you by threatening him with punishment. But if your demands become more threatening than the punishment, eventually the horse, child or employee will rebel. At some point, it just isn’t worth it to go on being terrified and the circumstances dictate. If, on the other – and better – hand, the child rider learns, either by herself or from the trainer to work with the horse, to understand his problems and help him understand what it wanted and how to do it, serious confrontations never arise. And from then – that is, from the horse – the child learns that more important lessons, that love and understanding accomplish far more in any situation than anger and aggression.

Horses are not by nature aggressive animals. May we all continue to learn from them.

Gincy Bucklin has ridden since childhood and has taught and trained professional for 45 years. She retired in 1993 from managing a sizable teaching program in Connecticut and now teaches in Rhode Island. Bucklin is a regular contributor to EQUUS and to several regional monthlies.

Reprinted from APSCA Animal Watch, fall 1994, Vol. 14, No. 3 with permission from The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 424 E. 92nd St. New York NY 10028